WHY haven’t they invented USB direct-to -brain connections
yet???
Which brings me to …
WHY do I always think of the best, most creative things
right before I fall asleep when I’m too tired to get up and write it down?
Will I remember all of that stuff in Heaven?
Will I still think it’s cool?
I miss my record collection.
I’m still upset about Pluto.
Turquoise is a brilliant color. Life should have more turquoise.
I ate pumpkin pie in May.
It seemed wrong.
I thought I would like the light blue nail polish, but it
made my toes look corpse-y.
Dieting tip: eating a few bites right off the whole pie
while standing at the counter instead of sitting with a slice does NOT reduce
calories. I mean, you think it would,
but it doesn’t.
Note to self: next time incorporate jogging in place.
Does the 5-second rule apply to panty liners? Think about it.
Why do I feel too girlie sometimes and too butch sometimes,
but seldom just right?
Theory: it depends on how the other women are dressed around
me.
Observation: the older I get the less I care.
A good day starts with a well-fitting bra.
I wonder if men have some kind of equivalent to a
well-fitting bra.
Hmm…
Wait. What?
I wonder what it would be like to not have ADD.
Not anymore, now I’m wondering if they will ever shrink real
ponies to Barbie size.
Probably not.
A turquoise pony would be cool.
What if the funniest movie of all time has already been
done? Then all of the movies from now on
won’t be as funny. That’s sad.
What if I haven’t seen the funniest movie of all time and I
never will? That’s sadder.
Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but what if everyone else has
seen the funniest movie in the world and they won’t tell me what it is?
Crap.
That would suck.
Why do my friends hate me?
I should get new friends.
Then I won’t have to be so paranoid.
I am glad to be such a good problem-solver.
Sometimes I stay up late when I don’t want to face the next
day. Like a part of me believes I can
rebel against the sunrise. Then those
damn birds…
The upside of being tired: stuff is funnier.
I’m sure when I’m better rested I won’t find any of this as
hilarious as I do now.
Who am I kidding? I’m never ‘better rested’.
There should be a way to get free liposuction by donating
your fat to science.
Science needs your fat.
Science has trouble gaining weight.
I think people who have trouble gaining weight are just
showing off. If they weren’t then we
wouldn’t know about them. They would keep it to their selves.
Maybe I need to be more empathetic to the plight of the
skinny.
Maybe miniature ponies will gallop out of my…
I think I’m on a tangent.
Tangent: geometric term.
It’s funny how many math terms we use in everyday language,
but most don’t recognize them as math terms.
Math isn’t hard. It’s boring.
Yes, we use it for everything. Yes, even art. Still boring.
Why is blue cheese so disgusting looking but so yummy?
Should I consider quitting my Diet Coke habit?
That felt wrong just typing it.
I think I might have to write a letter of apology to
Coca-Cola in case I’ve offended them.
I miss letters.
And envelopes.
With your real name and address on them.
Not your email address.
I got letters from my friend in Japan when I was a kid. That
was so cool.
E-mails from Japan, not so cool.
Bugs find me delicious.
I suppose I should be flattered.
Oh crap he’s awake.
1:52AM, going to be a long night.
